here’s a tip i’ve found usefull.. but be forewarned it will make you look like queen geek of the ubernerds:
take said diagram(s) and surround yourself with copies. it should be anywhere you might be looking at for more than a second. anatomy of an angiosperm? desktop background. circulatory system? taped up next to the shitter. kreb’s cycle: on the microwave. cell division: cell phone background…. and so on. set them up as the cover art on your ipod for every song that you downloaded without the artwork… keep them around you.
environmental print (or digital imaging) stays with you. it gets in your subconscious… it helps. and it’s not hard to set up. just wicked nerdy.
1st day back at school, or night as it were. spent the day in the clinic, trying to get a script for a med i’ve been on for nigh 12 years now… finally got it but not after withdrawal had set in and it was too late to go to the pharmacy… wandered through my class the teacher is loud and she is a broad. very new yawk. i ate peanut butter and jelly and studied biology flashcards and raised my hand at regularly intervals to give insightful (i hope?) and appropriate input into class discussion. always been a gift or curse of mine, being able to split the mind and use half to mind those who would mind if i weren’t minding them. ha. i’m tired. had some pisco and ate some green peppers and watched Columbiana, a silly movie about an unrealistic cleaner. left me itching to rewatch the professional.
studied so much today… in the kitchen then on the bus then at the clinic with screaming children accompaniment then on the bus then the platform then the train then the platform then the train then the elevator then the last half of class. watched a very good video about the circulatory system (shout outs to salman khan) on my ipod on the way home, too tired for textbook or flashcards. made friends with a little chica on the last bit of the train so turned the vid off an spoke with her in spanish good to practice, children are at my linguistic level moreso than adults at times… no more studying no it is tired and nighttime.
went to the pharmacy and they said oh it’s trouble with your insurance we’re sorry need prior authorization and it is eleven pm sorry no meds for you and i broke down because my head was so stomped from the withdrawal and the man took pity and gave me 3 days worth. i took half a dose b/c it will keep the worst away and i don’t trust them. how can i?
got an email that suggests i’m likely to get my TEACH grant. is four thousand i sorely need. cross your phalanges for me, eh?
Life is dull and exciting all at once and sometimes it revolves so quickly from one to the other that it just flashes back like a thaumatrope spinning, and the overall effect is - vague motion-induced disconcertion, and all the world a blur.
All I want to do right now is start fires and buy…